The Raise That Came Too Late

The work was celebrated. The compensation conversation was different.

The Ask

Asking for a raise can feel strangely vulnerable.

You know you’ve exceeded expectations.

You know you’ve gone above and beyond.

You’ve received verbal praise in packed rooms.

People applaud your work ethic, your dedication, your ability to “always make things happen.”

Yet somehow, when it comes time for compensation to reflect those contributions, silence often fills the room.

So you prepare.

You open ChatGPT, PowerPoint, Canva, or a Word document. You begin listing your accomplishments, your impact, your wins, and all the ways you’ve made life easier for the executive or company you support.

You schedule the meeting.

You rehearse your talking points in your head.

You show up nervous, slightly shaky, and trying not to forget everything you planned to say.

Then comes the response:

“We appreciate everything you do.”

“Keep up the great work.”

“Unfortunately, due to budgets…”

And suddenly, you feel dismissed.

I know this feeling firsthand.

Before BET, I Had a Different Mindset

I thought I’d only stay two years.

Before my career at BET, I had never stayed at a job longer than two years. None of those jobs were my dream jobs. I was working to provide for myself and build stability. I gave each role my best effort while I was there, but mentally, I always knew I wouldn’t be there forever.

Every job became leverage for the next opportunity.

So when I interviewed at BET, I entered with the exact same mindset:

Two years and I’m out.

Ironically, during my interview, my executive shared that he would probably be retiring in two years anyway, so the role likely wouldn’t be long-term.

Perfect. That aligned with my own thinking.

But once I got there, something shifted.

I loved the pace.

I loved the unpredictability.

I loved that no two days were the same.

I thrived in an environment that demanded quick decision-making, adaptability, discernment, and emotional intelligence.

I learned so much about myself during those years.

I experienced incredible opportunities, met amazing people, and genuinely enjoyed the work.

When the Numbers Started Changing

The longer I stayed, the less I made.

What I did not love was the salary-plus-overtime structure.

Before COVID, overtime was plentiful, so financially, things balanced out well. I paid off all my credit card debt and my auto loan. I contributed 20% to my 401(k) while receiving a 6% employer match. I still had the freedom to travel and enjoy life when time permitted.

Financially, I felt secure.

Then COVID happened.

Overtime disappeared completely, which significantly impacted my income. After COVID, overtime returned a little, but never at the same level because we had shifted into a hybrid work environment.

At the same time, the workload continued increasing.

I found myself taking on more responsibilities while making less money overall than I had years earlier.

That realization forced me to advocate for myself.

So, I asked for a salary increase.

The answer was no.

The work did not decrease.

The expectations did not decrease.

The pressure did not decrease.

And I kept delivering.

The Conversation That Shifted Everything

A couple of years later, I asked again.

This time, there was movement, but not much. After what felt like pulling teeth, I received a 5% increase.

During that conversation, I was also told something that permanently shifted my thinking:“You’ll never find another job that treats you this well, especially with all the perks.”

The moment I heard the word “never,” something clicked internally.

You must not know me, but luckily for me, I KNOW ME.

I knew there was more for me beyond that room.

My mother raised me to believe that I could accomplish anything I put my mind to. I have never allowed fear, comfort, or someone else’s limitations to define my future.

The Decision Was Already Made

By then, I was simply executing the plan.

What’s important to understand is this:

I did not resign after that conversation.

That conversation happened two years before I actually left.

But emotionally and mentally, that was the moment I knew my time there was coming to an end.

Not because I was angry.

Not because I suddenly hated the job.

Not because I realized I could show him better than I could tell him.

I simply realized I needed to make an informed decision about my future.

So, I made a plan.

I decided I wanted at least six months of expenses saved before leaving.

Once I reached that goal, I kept going.

Eventually, I decided to save $100,000 because I wanted true peace of mind and flexibility while figuring out my next chapter.

That decision changed everything for me because it removed desperation from the equation.

The 6-Month Notice

Me casually giving a 6-month notice.

By the time I officially shared my resignation plans, my mind was already made up, and my savings plan was in full effect.

In January 2024, I scheduled a Zoom conversation with my executive and informed him that BET Awards 2024 would be my final contribution to the team before departing.

He was not happy and made it clear that he did not want me to leave.

I understood that.

But what he didn’t realize was that my decision had already been made long before that conversation.

I am an extremely decisive person, which is also why I performed my role so well.

I do not make emotional, impulsive decisions. I plan carefully and intentionally.

There was nothing anyone could say at that point to change my mind.

I also asked about severance pay. The company was already in a season of downsizing, and layoffs were happening regularly across departments. After nearly eight years with the company, I believed it was fair to ask the question.

I did not receive it.

At that point, though, my financial preparation was already nearly complete. The severance would have simply been an added cushion, not a determining factor in my ability to leave.

That distinction matters.

Ask the Raise Question Anyway

Confidence and preparation matter.

I share this story because I want assistants to understand something very clearly:

Ask for what you believe you have earned.

Document your accomplishments.

Track your impact.

List your wins.

Show the value you bring as clearly as possible.

Then ask confidently.

Maybe the answer will be yes.

Maybe it will be no.

Maybe it will be “not right now.”

But ask.

Advocating for yourself is not disloyalty.

Wanting fair compensation is not greed.

And gathering information so you can make an informed decision about your future is not an ultimatum.

This is not an arm-twisting experience.

This is clarity.

The answer simply gives you information so you can decide what alignment looks like for your life moving forward.

Build Resentment or Leave Free?

Leaving didn’t erase the impact.

What’s also important is this:

Do not ask as a bluff.

If you ask for more compensation, be emotionally prepared for whatever answer comes next.

Do not threaten to leave if you have no intention of doing so.

Do not weaponize disappointment.

Do not suddenly stop performing with excellence because you feel overlooked.

That was never my approach.

Even after those conversations, I continued operating at a high level because excellence is part of who I am. My integrity was never tied to a number.

But eventually, I had to make a choice for myself.

Stay and become resentful.

Or leave and become free.

I chose freedom.

I chose peace.

Ironically, an increased compensation offer finally came the Tuesday before my last day at the company.

It took six months after my resignation announcement for that offer to arrive.

But by then, it was two years too late.

At that point, my decision was no longer about money.

It was about feeling valued.

To Executives, Respectfully

Leadership requires appreciation and compensation.

To executives reading this, I encourage you not to dismiss the assistants who make your life seamless.

If you have someone exceptional supporting you, someone who anticipates needs, protects your time, handles pressure with grace, and consistently delivers excellence, take a real look at their impact.

Put financial action behind verbal appreciation.

Do not wait until someone is halfway out the door to suddenly recognize their value.

People are sacrificing time with their loved ones.

People are navigating rising costs of living.

People are giving you their energy, their brilliance, and in many cases, some of the best years of their lives.

Do not take that lightly.

Honor people while you still have them.

Compensate them accordingly.

Give real raises.

Give meaningful bonuses.

And most importantly, never allow exceptional people to feel invisible simply because they have become routine.