Choosing Yourself Without Quitting: Lessons I Learned After 8 Years in the Entertainment Industry

2024 BET Awards Weekend

There’s a difference between quitting and choosing yourself. One is rooted in defeat; the other is anchored in clarity.

After eight years in the media and entertainment industry—serving at the highest levels, navigating stress, growth, and grace—I learned that choosing yourself doesn’t mean walking away from purpose. It means walking toward it.

This is my story.

Part I: The Journey Begins — And Almost Ends

Earlham (pronounced Earl-um) College—where I earned my B.A. in Business and Nonprofit Management

Before my experience at BET, I had never kept a job longer than two years. After graduating from Earlham College with a B.A. in Business and Nonprofit Management, I was eager to put my degree to work. I wanted a role that leaned more toward the “management” side than the “nonprofit” part—and I wanted to live somewhere warm.

Florida, I decided, was the move.

It was 2005. I updated my résumé, applied to Carnival Cruise Lines, and landed a job as a Personal Vacation Planner in Miami. My mom even threw me a going-away party with all my loved ones present. In my mind, I was officially on my way—adulthood post-college graduation and success as a career woman.

That illusion lasted about a week.

A few days after moving, I became violently ill. I could barely walk, my ears felt like they were on fire, and I had no voice. My mom, hundreds of miles away in Chicago, called the Miami Fire Department to check on me. They broke down the apartment door and rushed me to the hospital. I remember the firefighter’s voice vividly: “Keep your eyes open. Stay with us. You can die if you go to sleep.”

I was terrified. Between my mother’s voice in one ear and the paramedic’s instructions in the other, I realized that life doesn’t wait for you to have it all figured out.

After two penicillin shots—one in each cheek—blue Gatorade orders, and an allergic reaction to the prescribed meds that left me covered in a rash and aching in my bones, my Miami dream ended before it began.

Because Carnival didn’t allow trainees to miss more than two days, I lost my job and headed home to recover. The doctors never figured out exactly what I had—maybe scarlet fever, they guessed—but one thing was clear: my Florida dream was over.

Part II: The Job-Hopper with a Smile

Enterprise Rent-A-Car — the chapter that revealed the strength of my work ethic.

Once I was back home, my alma mater called. The Admissions Office at Earlham had heard about my illness and asked if I’d consider a one-year contract as an African American Admissions Counselor. It was familiar, purposeful work—I’d done work-study there all four years of undergrad—so I said yes.

After that year ended, I wanted to return to Chicago. I applied for the Management Trainee Program at Enterprise Rent-A-Car. “Management,” I thought, was the keyword. It sounded grown-up. It sounded right.

The reality? Twelve-hour days, Monday through Friday (7:00 a.m.–7:00 p.m.), and Saturdays every other week (9:00 a.m.–1:00 p.m.). Washing cars, picking up customers, and debating credit versus debit cards—all while earning a flat salary with no overtime. I couldn’t drink the green Enterprise Kool-Aid.

But even though I was mentally checked out, no one could tell. I still smiled, served with grace, and built relationships. Customers lined up to work with me. Outwardly, I was thriving. Inwardly, I was unfulfilled and exhausted.

Chase Bank — where I realized shorter hours don’t always mean a better fit.

I thought shorter hours would fix that, so I pivoted to banking. I updated my résumé and cover letter once again, and Chase Bank hired me as a Licensed Personal Banker. They paid us to study full-time for three months to earn our Series 6, Series 63, and Life Insurance licenses. When I passed, I felt accomplished—until I realized the job was all sales.

Every day, I sold debit cards, credit cards, checking accounts, and CDs. Every sale was considered a bonus—taxed at 38%. I didn’t feel like I was helping people; I felt like I was hustling. I couldn’t drink the Chase blue Kool-Aid either.

Part III: The Wake-Up Call That Changed Everything

My Aunt Trice and I at my 2005 Earlham College graduation — my confidant, my cheerleader, and the woman whose words changed the course of my life.

Then came the moment that changed my life.

My Aunt Trice—my favorite aunt, my confidant—wasn’t feeling well. She mentioned she hadn’t had a bowel movement in weeks. I begged her to go to the doctor. When she finally did, they found stage 4 ovarian cancer. The tumor was the size of a watermelon.

I visited her every day after work. One evening, I was late because I stopped at McDonald’s. When I walked into her hospital room, she looked at the clock. I started apologizing for being late, and she stopped me.

She said, “No, not that. I don’t want you to waste your time. Figure out what you want to do with your life and go do that.”

I’ve carried that moment with me ever since. Her eyes held fear, sadness, and love—all at once. She was speaking from experience. She had spent 20 years in a job she didn’t love instead of pursuing her creative passions.

Aunt Trice was a gifted interior decorator, the best holiday mac-n-cheese maker, and the most meticulous gift wrapper I’ve ever known. She had so much talent—and I loved her deeply. Her words became my wake-up call—my permission to choose purpose over fear.

A few weeks later, she passed. And I quit my job.

No plan. No savings. Just a burning need to understand my purpose—and what would truly be fulfilling.

Part IV: Building From Scratch — The Birth of Write to Success

Write to Success — the business I built from a notebook, a laptop, and a calling to help others find opportunity through words.

With nothing but a notebook, a pen, and a question—“What do I like to do?”—I started over.

I wrote everything that came to mind: roller skating, writing, résumé writing, walking, shopping, and more. Then I flipped to a new page and wrote another question: “What’s recession-proof?”

It was 2009, and we were in the middle of a recession. The answer I landed on: résumé writing.

I had always been good at it. I’d written every résumé that got me every job I ever had—and helped friends do the same. So I decided to turn that skill into a business. I called it Write to Success because my goal was to help people literally write their way to opportunity.

I remembered reading a book by Chris Gardner, whose story became the movie The Pursuit of Happyness starring Will Smith. His words stuck with me: “Start where you are with what you have.”

No website. No budget. Just Facebook.

I posted job tips, interview advice, and résumé strategies every day. At first, I worried I was posting too much—until I realized McDonald’s never stops talking about burgers and fries. If they could promote daily, so could I.

Over time, consistency turned into credibility. People started calling me “The Résumé Lady.” I saved enough to get a logo, then a website. Eventually, I expanded—writing curriculum for Chicago Public Schools centered on social-emotional learning and even editing a book.

From 2009 to 2016, I lived small—studio apartment, public transportation, no excess bills—so I could live free. Whenever I took a temp job, it was only to stay afloat. But my focus was clear: help people get to their next destination.

Then, life came full circle. Years later, I actually managed Chris Gardner for a weekend at a BET Ad Sales Retreat. I told him how I’d read his book during one of my toughest seasons, and we talked about it. He even invited my mom and me to his Chicago home for dinner.

From reading Chris Gardner's book during a recession to managing him at a BET Ad Sales retreat.

Life has a funny way of reminding you—you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Part V: The Click That Changed My Life

BET Media Group — where my excellence met opportunity.

In 2016, everything shifted again—by accident.

One night, I wanted to watch Kelly Rowland’s dance show but didn’t know what time it aired. I went to the BET website to check the schedule. Then I heard God say, “Click Careers.”

I resisted, asking, "For what?" I wasn’t looking for a job. But I obeyed.

There it was: Executive Assistant to the President of Media Sales — Chicago. Wait—BET had a Chicago office?

I started reading. The job description was almost a mirror of my life experience. I had done 80% of it, and I knew I could learn the other 20%. I researched who the President of Media Sales was, crafted a tailored resume and cover letter, and applied.

Three weeks later, I got a callback.

The interview process was intense:

• Five interviews in one day with five different people.

• A second round that lasted three hours with group simulations.

• A final interview with the President himself.

  
  

After two months of interviews, I got the job.

Part VI: The Climb — Eight Years of Excellence

Holding the Above and Beyond Award with my mom by my side—proof that purpose, perseverance, and grace always meet their moment.

For the next eight years, I grew, stretched, and learned more than I ever imagined possible.

I supported executives, led hospitality and logistics for major events, and built relationships across celebrity, C-suite, and entertainment circles. I also served as Lead Editor for the 100-page, quarterly-released WayMaker Journal. I became known for my “Many smiles” email signature, my calm under pressure, and my ability to create solutions where others saw obstacles.

It was the longest I’d ever stayed anywhere—and the most transformative experience of my career. I even received the “2018 Service Above and Beyond Award”—an honor no assistant had ever received before. My mother had so much adoration in her eyes as she was present to witness it. That award surprise was a confirmation that I was exactly where I was meant to be.

Yes, there were 12-hour days, late nights, and endless details—but I loved the work and the people. Some days stretched to fifteen hours, yet I wanted to be there. I loved what I did. Unlike my long days at Enterprise, I didn’t dread the hours; I embraced them.

I believed in the mission, adored my team, and wanted to see all of us win. Still, even as I excelled, I knew it wasn’t forever. Supporting someone else’s vision had been deeply fulfilling, but I also had a vision of my own taking shape.

My Aunt Trice’s words always echoed in my mind, reminding me not to stay anywhere longer than God intended.

In January 2024, I told my executive I would be parting ways in July, after leading one final major event—the BET Awards. I was ready to evolve again.

Part VII: When Your Body Says ‘Enough’

Then, in April 2024—after the NAACP Awards—I ended up in the hospital.

NAACP Awards 2024 — a glamorous moment before the turning point.

My throat had swollen so severely I could barely swallow my own saliva. I was diagnosed with a cyst on my thyroid gland. At the time, no one knew what caused it, but eventually, we learned it was stress. I had to stay overnight on IV antibiotics and continue heavy medication for two weeks.

As I lay there in that hospital bed, I realized my body was speaking for me. It was saying what I had been too uneasy, too dedicated, or too afraid to admit: You’ve done enough.

April 2024 — the moment my body said what my mind hadn’t yet admitted: You’ve done enough.

Once I made peace with that truth, my body began to plan and pivot.

When people asked if I was still leaving BET, my answer was a firm yes. That hospital visit sealed it for me.

By July 2024—during BET Awards Weekend—my grace to operate in high-stress spaces had expired. My body knew it before my mind did. I wrapped up strong (made just one mistake), led with excellence, and officially closed that chapter.

Part VIII: Choosing Myself Without Quitting

Every role was preparation. Every pivot was purpose.

I didn’t quit BET out of exhaustion or failure. I chose myself out of wisdom and alignment.

After eight years of serving others’ visions, I knew it was time to nurture my own. My decision wasn’t about walking away—it was about walking toward something new.

Since leaving, I’ve had zero throat episodes. My health has stabilized. My peace has expanded. And I’ve birthed something greater—Crystal Marshall Certified (CMC)—a platform where I coach executive assistants and personal assistants to operate at an elite level.

Because I know what it takes to serve powerfully without losing yourself. I know the cost of excellence—and the importance of harmony and self-honesty.

Part IX: The Lesson

Choosing yourself isn’t quitting—it’s evolving.

Choosing yourself isn’t a selfish act. It’s self-preservation.

It doesn’t mean burning bridges or abandoning responsibility. It means recognizing when your season in a certain space has served its purpose. It means trusting your body, your spirit, and your intuition when they whisper, “It’s time.”

I learned that sometimes, you don’t have to quit life to change it. You can honor what got you here, thank it for the lessons, and then step into the next chapter with clarity and courage.

So if you’re standing at that crossroads—wondering whether to stay or go—remember this: You don’t have to quit to choose yourself. You just have to listen when your spirit says, “Now.”

Final Thoughts

Crystal Marshall Certified - The mark of a new chapter: leading with excellence, evolving with purpose.

After eight years at BET, I learned that excellence and grace aren’t just qualities—they’re daily choices that define how you show up, serve, and lead.

But I also learned the importance of letting go when something no longer aligns with who you’re becoming.

Now, through Crystal Marshall Certified, I help others master that same harmony—shining under pressure without depleting themselves in the process.

Because success isn’t just about how long you can endure; it’s about knowing when to evolve. And choosing yourself isn’t quitting—it’s growth.