From Chaos to Composed: How to Shine When It Matters Most

Chaos Is Part of the Job

Come on. Please take a seat right next to me.

If you’ve been an Executive or Personal Assistant for more than 10 minutes, you already know—chaos isn’t an if, it’s a when. Flights get canceled. VIP guests arrive unannounced. A dinner for 350 people suddenly has 500 RSVP’d. Or your executive drops a “by the way, you’re planning the Christmas party” bomb on you two weeks before the holidays. (Ask me how I know?) Here’s the truth: assistants don’t get to avoid chaos—we get paid to navigate it. And not just survive it, but shine in it. The calm in the chaos is what makes you indispensable, what makes executives trust you, and what transforms you from “support staff” to the G.O.A.T.—the Greatest of All Time that they can’t live without.

Today, I want to share how I learned to breathe, pivot, and thrive in the middle of madness—so you can too.

Why Staying Calm Is Your Superpower

Tap into your bag of superpowers

When the room is on fire, everyone looks at the assistant. Executives feed off your energy. If you panic, they panic. If you hold it together, they relax because you have developed a level of trust where they know, without a doubt, you can and will handle it. Your calm becomes contagious.

I’ll be honest—sometimes I was screaming on the inside, but outside I was smiling, nodding, and moving mountains quietly. That calm exterior gave people confidence to follow my lead while I was quietly rearranging flights, reworking budgets, or whispering to security to get “uninvited” people out of VIP sections.

Being calm isn’t about being fake—it’s about being strategic. Your stillness buys you the seconds you need to think clearly, make a sound decision, and lead others in a new direction.

Lesson One: Breathe, Then Think

After you breathe, think.

Sounds simple, right? But when chaos hits, our first instinct is panic—anger, worry, confusion, and finger-pointing, trying to figure out where to place blame. None of that solves anything.

I’ve trained myself to do two things immediately:

1. Breathe. Your body language gives you away before your words do. One deep breath resets your nervous system and keeps your face from screaming, “Oh no, we’re doomed!”

   
   

2. Think. Shift your focus from “who messed up” to “how do we fix it.” I promise you, if you look for solutions instead of problems, they’ll show up.

   
   

That’s how I survived a morning at Essence Fest when I was supposed to have a VIP artist checked into a hotel—but the front desk told me it was “against policy.” I could’ve argued. I could’ve given up. Instead, I calmly got back in line. Twice. The third agent finally gave me the keys. The artist never knew how much it took just to get a room key.

Lesson Two: Communicate Like a Leader

Make a decision

Here’s the thing—calm without communication is just silence. In high-pressure moments, your words matter as much as your composure.

• Your tone sets the tone. You can’t yell your way out of a crisis. No swearing, no eye-rolling, no snapping. People will mirror your energy.

  
  

• Be clear and concise. Whether you’re on the phone with a vendor, shooting off an email, or texting a driver, get straight to the point—politely. No one has time for back-and-forth confusion in the middle of a crisis.

  
  

• Choose helpful over “right.” When someone’s coming at you sideways, resist the urge to clap back. Take a breath. Respond with solutions, not a bad attitude.

  
  

The assistants who thrive are the ones who can speak with authority but also with kindness. That balance builds trust. And in chaos, trust is everything.

Lesson Three: Plan Like an Event Producer

The event is not our job, but the outcome is still your responsibility.

Preparation is your secret weapon. You can’t predict everything, but you can build systems that make chaos easier to manage.

When I was planning award show dinners or BET Christmas parties, I learned that being “busy” is not the same as being productive. Real productivity means doing the hard prep work early—building guest lists, creating itineraries, confirming transportation, securing swag weeks in advance.

Why? Because when the inevitable last-minute fire pops up, you already have a solid foundation. That gives you bandwidth to pivot without losing your mind.

Here’s the truth: events never go 100% as planned. Humans are involved. Something will go wrong. But if you’re prepared, you can calmly adjust and keep the experience seamless for your executive and their guests.

Three Real-Life Chaos Moments (and What They Taught Me)

BET Awards Dinner - end of the night

1. The BET Awards Dinner That Almost Got Shut Down Imagine walking your boss into a dinner only to find the room packed with strangers. Wristbands gone wrong. Security confused. Your boss is side-eyeing you as he asks, “What is this?" What did I do? I didn’t argue. I didn’t kick people out. I controlled the door, announced the rules, and got a clicker to monitor capacity so we didn’t get shut down by the fire marshal. Result: order restored, dinner saved.
   

2. The Surprise Christmas Party One day, the President of Media Sales at BET casually mentioned that I was responsible for the office holiday party. Problem? No one had told me. Oh, and it was two weeks away. Budget: $5,000.

   
   

   Did I freak out? No. I hired an event planner I’d admired on Instagram for years, leveraged the BET brand, and threw a party so good that they talked about it years later.

   
   

3. The Essence Fest Hotel Key Drama

   I already told you this one—but the lesson bears repeating: persistence beats panic. When someone says “no,” someone else can and will say “yes.” Find them. Don’t give up.

Building Your Own Calm-in-the-Chaos Toolkit

David G. Allen quote

So how do you actually develop this calm confidence? Here are a few habits I swear by:

• Patience. Slow down just enough to think clearly.

• Kindness. Even in chaos, treat people well. They’ll remember.

• Preparation. Build systems, checklists, and backups before you need them.

• Quick thinking. Train yourself to move from problem to solution in seconds.

• Energy awareness. Your vibe sets the tone. Smile, even when your insides are doing backflips.

Final Word: You’ve Got This

We are elite - let's move like it.

At the end of the day, assistants are superheroes in disguise. We don’t wear capes—we wear composure.

I know firsthand what it’s like to have the weight of an executive’s world on your shoulders. I’ve been the one keeping calm while celebrities, executives, and entire VIP rooms looked at me for answers. I promise you, if I can find the calm in the chaos, so can you.

Remember: Breathe. Think. Act calmly. Do that, and you’ll not only survive high-stakes moments—you’ll shine in them.

And if you want to go deeper, that’s exactly why I created Crystal Marshall Certified. Because assistants deserve training that’s real, raw, and rooted in experience. You don’t just need theory—you need someone who’s been in the trenches.

So, take a breath. You’ve got this. And the next time chaos comes knocking, you’ll be ready to answer like the G.O.A.T. you are.